Prowl 2010

A girl needs to leave her shitty little home town. a group of her friends all decide to help. they break down. they get picked up by a truck driver. they get dumped in a warehouse.... then they all get eaten by vampires. now this might sound a bit generic and 'seen it all before' but other than the first act, which just reeks of first year screen writing student. the film turns into something quite interesting. by the half way point you will know where its going but its gory bloody and jumpy en route. the acting is all good, it looks like it cost far more than it did. the jumps are jumpy and although theres not much onscreen blood, it tends to splash over every avaliable surface so it feels gorier than it is. a worthy waste of 90 mins.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 3/5 - splashy blood and a decapitated head
SEX/NUDITY - 1/5 - a sort of semi naked game of truth or dare
SCARES - 3/5 - the 2nd half ramps it up quite well

FILM - worth a watch, probably only once

Urban Explorers 2011

Four 20 somethings meet up with a german bloke in berlin who they pay to show them some nazi bunker in an underground walled in tunnel complex... the fools. rule no.1, dont fuck about with nazi experiment stuff. it'll always end up with someone tied to a chair getting blow torched. or skinned. or getting stabbed etc etc. the first half of this was pretty good but once the violence got going it just got boring. they could have cut 3 seconds out and it would have been a 15, you dont care about anyone, they keep making stupid choces and ending up dismembered and decorating the fridge, its just silly.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 2/5 - a nice live skinning
SEX/NUDITY - 1/5 - 2 girls kiss for about 2 seconds
SCARES - 2/5 - creepy for about half an hour

FILM - 2/5 - alright but kinda boring and not violent enough

Evidence 2011

Hmmm, long break, long story. anyway....evidence is a found footage film. now before you think 'fuck that, ive had enough' think again. 4 friends (although they dont seem to get on, so why hang out?) go camping, one of them is filming a documentary on his friends first camping trip. the characters are just normal slaughter fooder, one of them is blond and wears tiny shorts etc. but, after half hour of generic nonsense and several moments where i thought about turning it off it suddenly goes a bit epic and a bit unexpectably mental. within about a minute it turns from blair witch rip off to a fully charged nutcase action horror film, 2 dead bodies in the first hour, more than i could count in the last 30 minutes, blood, monsters, zombies, mad scientists.... its all there.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 4/5 - dismemberment and savagery abound
SEX/NUDITY - 2/5 - a couple of nipples
SCARES - 3/5 - after some normal jumpy bits it really goes for it

FILM - 4/5 - loved it, an unexpected mental treat

Panic Button 2011

Four stereotypes board a private jet thinking they have won a 'social network' competition. in order to win prizes they have to complete secret tasks given to them in the plane toilet. alas they have really been tricked by a psycho onto 'the plane of death' . each person has had a relative kidnapped and unless they kill the other people on the plane their daughter/sister/brother/friend will get cut up/set on fire/ hung / etc. so mistrust takes over and someone gets an axe out. this carries on in a quality but slightly silly way.  it tries to take in the whole cyber bullying aspect but really just wants to stab someone in the face with a bottle. theres a couple of nice twists towards the end and the final scene is pretty damn dark when you give it a ponder.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 2/5 - odd bloody bit but it doesnt linger
SEX/NUDITY - 2/5 - a desperate seduction attempt that goes nowhere
SCARES - 2/5 - better build up than pay off

FILM - 2/5 - worth a watch, but only once

The Wild Hunt 2009

A bloke turns up at a medival reanactment place to try and find his girlfriend, in order to even get in he has to dress as a viking and talk like a viking. his girlfriend has been captured by the nasty wood dwelling barbarians and the bloke has to get fully into the roleplay in order to get her back. why would this be reviewed on a horror film blog? because they all start taking things far to seriously and all out violence and slaughter takes over the woods. its pretty good, well written stuff with an unexpectably brutal last 10 minutes. not sure ill be going to any reanactments any time soon, it only takes one person replacing the rubber knife with a real one and chaos takes over.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 3/5 - lots of beatings, some nasty hammer goings on
SEX/NUDITY - 2/5 - a steamy encounter in a fake boat and some wenches
SCARES - 3/5 - lots of oncoming bad shit vibes

FILM - 3/5 - a worthy waste of an hour and a half

Human Centipede 2 2011

A complete nutjob takes the first human centipede film the wrong way and proceeds to catch 12 people so he can give it a go himself. his version of anesthetic is to twat them over the head with a crowbar and when he tries to get the digestive system to link up using laxatives, well, it gets messy. i can understand why the bbfc have problems with this film, its their worst nightmare, someone trying to recreate a film they passed but without the mental capabilities to seperate film and reality, the whole film is really art disguised as hardcore out of order gory horror. and even in its cut form (missing a sandpaper wank and a barbed wire rape) this still goes as far as anything ive seen except for a serbian film and maybe nekromantik. if you can handle everything thats thrown at you when it comes to horror films give it a go, if your even a bit squeamish then stay the fuck away, it will disturb you for some time.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 5/5 - home surgery at its most extreme
SEX/NUITY - 3/5 - if you can call whatever the fat bloke does as sex
SCARES - 5/5 - not scares, just revolting

FILM - 5/5 - the 2nd most disgusting film ive ever seen

Wrong Turn 4 2011

Wrong turn was always a bit over rated in my opinion, the 2nd one was great and the third was crap, so which way would the 4th one go? the gory as hell with a bit of sex route of course. it all opens showing how the mutants escape from a mental home, it involves home surgery, someones head getting fried and some one getting torn apart by barbed wire, theres more blood and carnage in the first 10 minutes than there was in the whole of the first film. then it skips forward a few years to a group of four couples and a survivor girl getting lost in the snow and seeking shelter in the spooky abandoned mental home. the fools. theres a quick bit of drink, drugs and lesbian sex and then the slaughter begins. and theres a lot of it. decapitations, spikings, massive power drill abuse, a bloke gets eaten alive, some one else gets brutally stabbed to bits. its great. nothing original but its a part 4 in a horror series so i wasnt expecting kubrick.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 4/5 - cannabilism, barbed wire and power tools, sorted
SEX/NUDITY - 3/5 - 3 or 4 sex scenes, some lesbians
SCARES - 2/5 - its not scary, but you do wonder how violent its gonna get

FILM - 3/5 - the 2nd best wrong turn film