The Wild Hunt 2009

A bloke turns up at a medival reanactment place to try and find his girlfriend, in order to even get in he has to dress as a viking and talk like a viking. his girlfriend has been captured by the nasty wood dwelling barbarians and the bloke has to get fully into the roleplay in order to get her back. why would this be reviewed on a horror film blog? because they all start taking things far to seriously and all out violence and slaughter takes over the woods. its pretty good, well written stuff with an unexpectably brutal last 10 minutes. not sure ill be going to any reanactments any time soon, it only takes one person replacing the rubber knife with a real one and chaos takes over.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 3/5 - lots of beatings, some nasty hammer goings on
SEX/NUDITY - 2/5 - a steamy encounter in a fake boat and some wenches
SCARES - 3/5 - lots of oncoming bad shit vibes

FILM - 3/5 - a worthy waste of an hour and a half

Human Centipede 2 2011

A complete nutjob takes the first human centipede film the wrong way and proceeds to catch 12 people so he can give it a go himself. his version of anesthetic is to twat them over the head with a crowbar and when he tries to get the digestive system to link up using laxatives, well, it gets messy. i can understand why the bbfc have problems with this film, its their worst nightmare, someone trying to recreate a film they passed but without the mental capabilities to seperate film and reality, the whole film is really art disguised as hardcore out of order gory horror. and even in its cut form (missing a sandpaper wank and a barbed wire rape) this still goes as far as anything ive seen except for a serbian film and maybe nekromantik. if you can handle everything thats thrown at you when it comes to horror films give it a go, if your even a bit squeamish then stay the fuck away, it will disturb you for some time.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 5/5 - home surgery at its most extreme
SEX/NUITY - 3/5 - if you can call whatever the fat bloke does as sex
SCARES - 5/5 - not scares, just revolting

FILM - 5/5 - the 2nd most disgusting film ive ever seen

Wrong Turn 4 2011

Wrong turn was always a bit over rated in my opinion, the 2nd one was great and the third was crap, so which way would the 4th one go? the gory as hell with a bit of sex route of course. it all opens showing how the mutants escape from a mental home, it involves home surgery, someones head getting fried and some one getting torn apart by barbed wire, theres more blood and carnage in the first 10 minutes than there was in the whole of the first film. then it skips forward a few years to a group of four couples and a survivor girl getting lost in the snow and seeking shelter in the spooky abandoned mental home. the fools. theres a quick bit of drink, drugs and lesbian sex and then the slaughter begins. and theres a lot of it. decapitations, spikings, massive power drill abuse, a bloke gets eaten alive, some one else gets brutally stabbed to bits. its great. nothing original but its a part 4 in a horror series so i wasnt expecting kubrick.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 4/5 - cannabilism, barbed wire and power tools, sorted
SEX/NUDITY - 3/5 - 3 or 4 sex scenes, some lesbians
SCARES - 2/5 - its not scary, but you do wonder how violent its gonna get

FILM - 3/5 - the 2nd best wrong turn film

Bood Runs Cold 2011

a girl goes back to her home town (where it snows alot) she runs into her ex boyfriend and 2 of his mates and they head back to the old creaky spooky house where she is staying. theres also a man with an axe who eats people in the area. the friends all get axed and eaten pretty quick then its 30 minutes of the girl doing silly things. and thats it. no info about whos killing them, no info on them really. without the credits its only an hour and ten minutes long yet it still feels to long. some nice gory axe deaths though.


BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 3/5 - 4 people get axed up and eaten
SEX/NUDITY - 3/5 - obligatory sex before carnage
SCARES - 2/3 - no real tension, no jumps


FILM - 2/5 - alright, nothing new, nice shots of snow

 

Antikorper (antibodies) 2005

Antibodies plays like a german version of silence of the lambs. only the serial killer rapes and tortures kids instead of eating annoying people. the nutter is caught and refuses to talk, a policeman from a town where one of the murders took place goes to help interview him. the killer will only talk to the small town policeman and proceeds to destroy his life. you see the killer isnt accepting responsability for one of the murders and its looking more and more likely that whoever did it is connected to the coppers life. twists, turns and horrible mutilations of children ensue. really well acted and shot with a nerve racking final 20 minutes, really good film all round.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 4/5 - self mutilation and nasty stuff to do with kids.
SEX/NUDITY - 3/5 - a couple of rough sex scenes as the main bloke starts to lose it.
SCARES - 3/5 - tension, tension, tension

FILM - 4/5 - excellant film, i really was guessing until the end.