Piranha 3DD 2012

Now, all i wanted from this film is killer fish and tits. Alas not as much of either as in the first film (or 2nd remake, whichever way you want to look at it). but it does have killer fish decapitating children, and one guy gets one stuck in his arse. and there is a 30 second 3d breast montage, which kinda covers the tits. so exactly what i required. oh and theres a sort of story about a water park and david hasselhof rocks.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 4/5 - killer fish carnage
SEX/NUDITY - 4/5 - er tits
SCARES - 1/5 - no scares just fish

FILM - 3/5 - good, just not as good as the last one.

PROMETHEUS 2012

Hooray, ridley scott makes his first science fiction film in 30 years. Hooray its an alien prequel (sort of). Hooray its got the bird from the swedish version of the girl with the dragon tattoo in it, and last but not least, Hooray it wasnt cut down to get a 12A. Oh and its the total dogs nuts.

Some scientists find some cave drawings that are some sort of star map thing. they get a bit of private funding and voyage off to where no man has gone before, but where it looks like man was sort of invented. they land, do some science stuff, find a massive carved human head surrounded by familiar eggs. then a couple of them do some stupid stuff and die and then mutate and die again. the robot/ android dude is being a bit sneaky and the results of one of his little experiments results in an emergency self surgery scene which is pretty mental. then some bright spark decides to wake up one of the creators and things start going really tits up. theres some really cool stuff going on with this film, big crashing spaceships, a nice bit of klaxxons going off with a calm voice stating how little amount of time is left. and an alien (proper ancestor of alien type alien) pops out at the end.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 3/5 - its squishy and gross

SEX/NUDITY - 1/5 - some implied hanky panky

SCARES - 3/5 - it all gets a bit sweaty during the self surgery bit

FILM - 5/5 - great sci fi horror mash up, with tentacles!