Wednesday 9 May 2012

Cannibal Holocaust 1980

Oh yes, we're going old school with the first (and greatest) found footage film ever made. A man with a beard goes to the amazon to look for a missing documentary crew. he runs into a tribe and they trade him some film cans theyve got for something shiney. beardy man gets back and a group of suits (and us the viewer) watch the footage from the cans. and man is it fucked up, the doc crew start by constantly pissing about and cutting up animals for fun, then it all gets a bit rapey with the girl, then they come across a tribe of people who dont wear much. they proceed to burn down the village, filming it as they go. then theres some nasty sexual torture, then a girl gets impaled on a spike. theres a rather nasty forced abortion, some more real animal death then the tribe say 'fuck this' and batter, rape and dismember the film crew. the end. its great but its the sort of film that people your watching it with will leave about half an hour in and never really look at you the same again.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 5/5 - everything (people, muskrats, turtles) gets dismembered
SEX/NUDITY - 5/5 - the tribe are all 'tits out' and theres a lot of sexual violence
SCARES - 5/5 - it certainly does your head in

FILM - 5/5 - an all time sick fucked up classic

Wednesday 2 May 2012

Outpost 2 : Black Sun 2012

Outpost 2 is a nazi zombie film which, as dead snow and outpost have proved,means it cant fail. a woman nazi hunter is searching for a death commander type (who would be about 90 years old) she is joined by a physics bloke who says he knows stuff that can help. they are then joined by a british special forces group who are heading in the same direction. the one thing they all have in commen is they end up killing some nazi zombies, and trying to turn off/blow up some zombie machine in a basement, which if they dont turn off will result in them all getting nuked. its great, it takes itself seriously and theres unstoppable zombies with big daggers stabbing anyone they come across.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 3/5 - much stabbing and head battering
SEX/NUDITY - 0/5 - nothing,
SCARES - 3/5 - its ominous throughout

FILM - 3/5 - add an extra point if zombie films are your thing