Panic Button 2011

Four stereotypes board a private jet thinking they have won a 'social network' competition. in order to win prizes they have to complete secret tasks given to them in the plane toilet. alas they have really been tricked by a psycho onto 'the plane of death' . each person has had a relative kidnapped and unless they kill the other people on the plane their daughter/sister/brother/friend will get cut up/set on fire/ hung / etc. so mistrust takes over and someone gets an axe out. this carries on in a quality but slightly silly way.  it tries to take in the whole cyber bullying aspect but really just wants to stab someone in the face with a bottle. theres a couple of nice twists towards the end and the final scene is pretty damn dark when you give it a ponder.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 2/5 - odd bloody bit but it doesnt linger
SEX/NUDITY - 2/5 - a desperate seduction attempt that goes nowhere
SCARES - 2/5 - better build up than pay off

FILM - 2/5 - worth a watch, but only once

The Wild Hunt 2009

A bloke turns up at a medival reanactment place to try and find his girlfriend, in order to even get in he has to dress as a viking and talk like a viking. his girlfriend has been captured by the nasty wood dwelling barbarians and the bloke has to get fully into the roleplay in order to get her back. why would this be reviewed on a horror film blog? because they all start taking things far to seriously and all out violence and slaughter takes over the woods. its pretty good, well written stuff with an unexpectably brutal last 10 minutes. not sure ill be going to any reanactments any time soon, it only takes one person replacing the rubber knife with a real one and chaos takes over.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 3/5 - lots of beatings, some nasty hammer goings on
SEX/NUDITY - 2/5 - a steamy encounter in a fake boat and some wenches
SCARES - 3/5 - lots of oncoming bad shit vibes

FILM - 3/5 - a worthy waste of an hour and a half

Human Centipede 2 2011

A complete nutjob takes the first human centipede film the wrong way and proceeds to catch 12 people so he can give it a go himself. his version of anesthetic is to twat them over the head with a crowbar and when he tries to get the digestive system to link up using laxatives, well, it gets messy. i can understand why the bbfc have problems with this film, its their worst nightmare, someone trying to recreate a film they passed but without the mental capabilities to seperate film and reality, the whole film is really art disguised as hardcore out of order gory horror. and even in its cut form (missing a sandpaper wank and a barbed wire rape) this still goes as far as anything ive seen except for a serbian film and maybe nekromantik. if you can handle everything thats thrown at you when it comes to horror films give it a go, if your even a bit squeamish then stay the fuck away, it will disturb you for some time.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 5/5 - home surgery at its most extreme
SEX/NUITY - 3/5 - if you can call whatever the fat bloke does as sex
SCARES - 5/5 - not scares, just revolting

FILM - 5/5 - the 2nd most disgusting film ive ever seen

Wrong Turn 4 2011

Wrong turn was always a bit over rated in my opinion, the 2nd one was great and the third was crap, so which way would the 4th one go? the gory as hell with a bit of sex route of course. it all opens showing how the mutants escape from a mental home, it involves home surgery, someones head getting fried and some one getting torn apart by barbed wire, theres more blood and carnage in the first 10 minutes than there was in the whole of the first film. then it skips forward a few years to a group of four couples and a survivor girl getting lost in the snow and seeking shelter in the spooky abandoned mental home. the fools. theres a quick bit of drink, drugs and lesbian sex and then the slaughter begins. and theres a lot of it. decapitations, spikings, massive power drill abuse, a bloke gets eaten alive, some one else gets brutally stabbed to bits. its great. nothing original but its a part 4 in a horror series so i wasnt expecting kubrick.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 4/5 - cannabilism, barbed wire and power tools, sorted
SEX/NUDITY - 3/5 - 3 or 4 sex scenes, some lesbians
SCARES - 2/5 - its not scary, but you do wonder how violent its gonna get

FILM - 3/5 - the 2nd best wrong turn film

Bood Runs Cold 2011

a girl goes back to her home town (where it snows alot) she runs into her ex boyfriend and 2 of his mates and they head back to the old creaky spooky house where she is staying. theres also a man with an axe who eats people in the area. the friends all get axed and eaten pretty quick then its 30 minutes of the girl doing silly things. and thats it. no info about whos killing them, no info on them really. without the credits its only an hour and ten minutes long yet it still feels to long. some nice gory axe deaths though.


BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 3/5 - 4 people get axed up and eaten
SEX/NUDITY - 3/5 - obligatory sex before carnage
SCARES - 2/3 - no real tension, no jumps


FILM - 2/5 - alright, nothing new, nice shots of snow

 

Antikorper (antibodies) 2005

Antibodies plays like a german version of silence of the lambs. only the serial killer rapes and tortures kids instead of eating annoying people. the nutter is caught and refuses to talk, a policeman from a town where one of the murders took place goes to help interview him. the killer will only talk to the small town policeman and proceeds to destroy his life. you see the killer isnt accepting responsability for one of the murders and its looking more and more likely that whoever did it is connected to the coppers life. twists, turns and horrible mutilations of children ensue. really well acted and shot with a nerve racking final 20 minutes, really good film all round.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 4/5 - self mutilation and nasty stuff to do with kids.
SEX/NUDITY - 3/5 - a couple of rough sex scenes as the main bloke starts to lose it.
SCARES - 3/5 - tension, tension, tension

FILM - 4/5 - excellant film, i really was guessing until the end.

Territories (checkpoint) 2010

Territories, known as checkpoint in the uk, is a mental little film from canada. a group of twenty somethings are driving back fom a wedding at their friends house in canada. they get stopped on a backroad as they cross he usa border by a border patrol. everything goes tits up. the border patrol are really a couple of fanatical american ex soldiers who have taken it upon themselves to protect their country. so before you can say guantamano the group are dressed in orange jumpsuits having bright lights shined in their eyes and being forced to listlen to really loud gabba. nothing really improves for them and there is no light at the end of the tunnel. great ending, great acting and great subversion of traditional script writing. top shit all round.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 3/5 - a few nasty bits, some 'ouch' tooth surgery.
SEX/NUDITY - 2/5 - they are sometimes stripped before torture time
SCARES - 4/5 - really puts you off driving from canada to the usa

FILM - 4/5 - sustained horrible goings on, def worth a watch

FOUND FOOTAGE TRIPLE BILL

Having recently sat through ' a night in the woods' i needed a dose of found footage films to wipe that painful 80 mins out of my memory, first up.

TROLLHUNTER 2010

A group of documentary makers are trying to film what they think is an illegal hunter, they soon realise he is a goverment sanctioned trollhunter, paid to hunt down and kill trolls that have escaped from their designated area. the film goes through all the major troll groups, which get gradually bigger as the film rolls on. trolls are attracted to christian blood so the camerman doesnt last long. followed by the amusing hiring of the replacement cameraman. 'so are you sure your a muslim?'. the troll fx are great, the actors take it all seriously and it ends the same way as all found footage films end, abrubtly.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 2/5 - troll attacks, a couple of goats get it
SEX/NUDITY - 1/5 - the trolls are naked
SCARES - 2/5 - Trolls!!!!

FILM - 4/5 - excellant stuff, trolls are great

Next up was the latest hollywood offering.

APOLLO 18 2011

Its the lost footage of the apollo 18 mission, which never officially happened but all the conspiracy nutters out there have known from the start that it was aliens all along etc etc. so, 3 astronauts investigate the dark side of the moon, they find a crashed russian moon lander and a dead russian, the moon rocks are also really living spider things that crawl in your suit and cover your face up as you scream. theres only so much you can do with this sort of film but the change of setting keeps it interesting enough to see it through to the 'aaaaaah' equipment shorts out>>> end.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 3/5 - the rock spider things are pretty gross
SEX/NUDITY - 0/5 - three blokes in space, i should hope not
SCARES - 2/5 - a couple of 'boo' moments that work quite well

FILM - 3/5 - the fact that its on the moon is all thats different, but that'll do.

and last on the evenings list. from spain.


ATROCIOUS 2010

For some reason the spanish rock when it comes to found footage films, rec, rec 2 and now atrocious, a film that starts the same way as all the rest. heres a happy normal enviroment, heres what goes wrong etc. but instead of the usual 'no answers'abrubt ending, it delivers a proper ending, with proper views of bloody corpses and an explanation of what you just saw. which incidently is a couple of teenagers who film ghost stories to eleviate boredom on a trip to where there mum grew up who end up getting violently done over by a nutter with an axe. ill say no more but definatly check this one out.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 4/5 - kids getting burnt and chopped, not happy
SEX/NUDITY - 0/5 - nothing that i remember
SCARES - 4/5 - it delivers the required chills once it gets going

FILM - 4/5 - a top notch, slightly different, found footage film

A Horrible Way To Die 2010

And another frightfest film. this one is all about a woman who finds out her husband is a serial killer, she calls the police and he goes to prison. some time later she is a recovering alcoholic and her husband has escaped from prison and is murdering his way across america towards her. she meets a nice friendly chap at an AA meeting and, foolishly, lets him into her secret past. as her husband closes in and the new man in her life starts being a bit weird it becomes clear its all going to end in a brutal stabby mess. you might spot a few of the many twists and turns coming a mile off but its still entertaining watching it all play out. and i honestly didnt know which way it was all going to go at the bloody climax in the 'kill room' set up in the woods.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 3/5 - stabbings,  shootings, slicing of throats
SEX/NUDITY - 2/5 - a brief sex scene, couple of naked corpses
SCARES - 3/5 - lots of impending doom

FILM - 3/5 - entertaining, twisty, bloody thriller

THE CALLER 2011

Another film shown at frightfest on the little screen. a woman going through a divorce moves into a flat with her dog, one night the phone rings and a woman on the other end starts asking about stuff that happened 40 years ago. the phone is 'of course' some sort of time portal thing and the two woman communicate for a while until the present woman inadvertanly tells the past woman to kill her husband, which changes the future and present womans life starts to unravel. by killing her husband past woman no longer kills herself and starts controlling present womans life. she hunts down and kills her friends in the past so stop existing in the present. then she sets her sights on the present woman but when she was a little girl. to say more would ruin everything, but it gets pretty messed up.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 2/5 - lots and lots of threat but no proper splashy blood
SEX/NUDITY - 2/5 - a sex scene with magic hair that keeps covering up nipples
SCARES - 4/5 - once it kicks in its creepy as hell

FILM - 4/5 - top atmos, top acting, top film

Laid to Rest 2 : Chromeskull (2011)

Hmmm, the sequal to one of the worst films ive seen in recent memory, i was reluctant to even bother watching it, but i did. alas its the same old shit with a 'twist' . now theres 2 nutters in skull masks chopping, slashing and dismembering passing teens. like the first its gory as hell and the fx are pretty good, but like the first you dont care about anyone, you just sit and wait because you know every 10 minutes theres gonna be some brutal gore. waste of time really.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 4/5 constant and bloody but nothing new
SEX/NUDITY - 3/5 - a few pointless shower/getting undressed bits
SCARES - 1/5 - no scares, just blood

FILM - 1/5 - a complete waste of 90 minutes of my life

FRIGHTFEST 2011 - Monday

Hooray, frightfest. first up on monday was a last minute replacement for guinea pigs (which looked quite good) the replacement was...

A NIGHT IN THE WOODS

Hmmm, from the poster i was thinking it all looked a bit 'blair witch' then as the film progressed it became more and more like blair witch. a couple and the girls ex go on a camping trip to dartmoor and stop off in some woods, they are filming their trip on a cheap shitty camera with no stabalization button, something really noisy that you NEVER SEE kills them all. theres no blood no visable violence just lots of really loud noises presumably put in to try and make you forget its just a rip off with nothing going for it. dont bother unless you really need to see what the blair witch project would look like if it was all in colour. crap

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 1/5 - you dont see anyone getting done, lots of screaming tho
SEX/NUDITY - 1/5 - theres an almost sex scene in a tent
SCARES - 2/5 - it almost builds up the atmos, but not quite

FILM -1/5

next up was a zombie comedy....

DEADHEADS

until deadheads was announced i had never heard of it, it was directed by two brothers who grew up on the evil dead sets cos their dad was the fx bloke. the film opens with what is basically the end of night of the living dead, theres a black guy in a vest, a bickering couple with a contaminated kid and a shit load of zombies, then it sort of forgets about all that for a while and instead we join a pair of zombies who would rather not have to eat people, and one of them wants to find his ex. so the film becomes a zombie road movie as the 2 dead blokes and a huge potntially unstable zombie called cheese run around trying to avoid the goverment bods who want to 'shoot them in the head'. the film was really funny and pretty gory, worth a watch.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 3/5 - heads get blown off, intestines make an appearance
SEX/NUDITY - 1/5 - maybe an exposed shoulder
SCARES - 1/5 - its a comedy, its not scary

FILM -3/5 -

next up was the first horror film to ever come out of switzerland...

SENNENTUNTSCHI: CURSE OF THE ALPS

Curse of the alps is a ghost story mixed in with a bit of rape/revenge with a sprinkle of police thriller thrown in and its the nuts. a friendly cop in a small village investigates what has happened to a mute woman who has appeared out of nowhere. priests start getting worried and some shepherds have gone missing. the film unravels what has happened in flash backs, flash forwards and strange dream bits and its not a happy tale. a bit confusing and worth a second watch i strongly suggest this fucked up tale of straw women being made into flesh and then being abused to the point of the axes coming out. its cool.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 3/5 - fair bit of abuse, and people get made into dolls
SEX/NUDITY - 3/5 - the woman gets raped a couple of times
SCARES - 3/5 - lots of atmos, good sense of dread throughout

FILM - 4/5

ah onto what was hyped to be the gore film of the day...

INBRED

inbred delivers on all counts providing your not looking for an acting or script writing masterclass, its an out of order gore fest and it knows it. a group of young offenders go to a small village in yorkshire with a couple of carers on a team building excersise. before you can say 'dont piss off the locals' legs, arms, heads and intestines are flying all over the place. its great. the locals capture the kids and set up a show for the whole village in the town hall that involves strangly shaped carrots, a horse, a big vat of pressurised silage and an unfortunate young offender. blood, shit and inerds ensue. and theres a great bit with a field full of landmines.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 5/5 - full of out of order goings on
SEX/NUDITY - 3/5 - constant suggestion of bad sexual things afoot
SCARES - 2/5 - more funny than scary

FILM - 4/5

and onto the last film of the festival...

A LONELY PLACE TO DIE

a lonely place to die just couldnt fail in my book, its got mountain  climbing gone wrong bits, kidnapped children, melissa george, sean harris and a mad serbian. a group of climbers in scotland discover a young girl buried in a box on top of a mountain, shes alive so they have to get her off the mountain and find help. alas 2 nutters who kidnapped the kid off a serbian gangster for large amounts of ransom money want her back, and they have sniper rifles. now im scared shitless of heights so from the start i was loving it, loads of dangerous shit going on up mountains, then when it kicks in and becomes a hunter/hunted type film it just fucking rocks, melissa george is wicked as the uber climber who is determined to save the kid and sean harris is the nuts as the psychotic sniper trying to shoot them. it all decends into chaos when she reaches a village and the killers are wandering around with shotguns wearing pig masks wiping out anyone who gets in their way. watch this film at a cinema if possible. its great.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 3/5 - people getting shot mainly, and the odd drop from a high place
SEX/NUDITY - 0/5 - no time for sex when your running from a sniper
SCARES - 5/5 - constant tension, never lets up, mental pacing

FILM - 5/5

Wound 2010

 

Wound is a new zealand horror film about, well im not to sure what it was about to be honest, something about a madwoman whos into getting her tits clamped with clothes pegs who thinks her stillborn daughter has come back as a sexy goth with psychotic intentions. in between weird bondage sessions the mad woman has a really bad nosebleed, gets assualted with clingfilm by men in pig masks, wanders into a dream reality where everyone has heads like sex dolls and cuts off her incestous dads penis. all fun and games in new zealand it seems. theres a couple of scenes in wound i cant even write down they were so gross, and the sheer mentalness of it all means i probably didnt see what i thought i saw anyway. its that sort of film.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 4/5 - blood flows freely, torture, abuse and getting twated by baseball bats also feature highly

SEX/NUDITY - 4/5 - tits, leather, bondage and pig masks bloody everywhere

SCARES - 4/5 - scary in the sense thats it messed up uncomfortable and gross

FILM - 4/5 - thats some fucked up shit right there.

The task 2011

A group of bloody annoying twenty somethings take part in a reality tv show where they have to spend the night in an abandoned prison. during the night they have to complete tasks that reflect their darkest fear. eg; man who fears religion has a task in the chapel, some poor bloke with a fear of confined spaces gets put in a metal box of shit, all thats missing is ant and dek and it could be on itv. suffice to say people start going missing, the production crew dont know what the hell is going on and someone just activated the gas chamber. its all a bit silly really with a double twist that you will see coming about 80 minutes beforehand.

BOOLD/VIOLENCE - 2/5 - nothing much happens and when it does you dont see much
SEX/NUDITY - 1/5 - i dont remember any but there must be an exposed shoulder or something
SCARES - 1/5 - hmmm, not really scary at all

FILM - 2/5 - not the worst horror film ive seen in the last couple of months but close

The devils rock 2011

Two comandos turn up on an island the day before d-day to blow up a radio base. once they get inside they find a lot of torn apart german soldiers, a living german soldier and a demon succubus chained up in the basement. the germans have been trying to raise a demon to help out with the war and now they cant control it. after one of the commandos dies its left to the surving one and the german to send the creature back to hell, theres some blood and carnage on the way.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 3/5 - the usual face smashing intestine flying behaviour
SEX/NUDITY - 2/5 - the succubus woman tends to have her tits out
SCARES - 2/5 - a bit of dread and atmosphere

FILM - 3/5 - harmless 90 mins of demonic entertainment

Atomik circus 2004

A couple are broken apart when the bloke gets set up. he escapes from prison and starts making his way back to the girl before she gets whisked away by the smooth record esec who likes her singing. oh and mental tentacled aliens are invading and cutting off peoples heads and skinning their faces off. and some pissed motorbike cops keep falling off their bikes, and a man gets his dog to sing by pressing a boil on its leg, and a bloke in a space suit rides a motorbike into another dimension. its crazy french stuff you'll either love it or turn it off after 20 minutes and declare it crap. its not really a horror film but the sheer amount of decapitations and gut rippings in the last 20 minutes mean it should be here.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 4/5 - the massacre in the hall by the tentacles is mental gory
SEX/NUDITY - 3/5 - its french
SCARES - 2/5 - not scary, just bloody surreal

FILM - 4/5 - not for everyone but if you can cope its worth the effort

Mothers day 2010

Three brothers head to their mums house after a robbery goes wrong only to find that a nice middle class couple have moved in. the nice couple are having a nice party with their nice friends. the three brothers ruin everything for everyone in a nasty intimidating home invasion way then ring their mum who ends up being more brutal and psychotic than they are. if memory serves one of the nice middle class lot make it out alive. the rest of them are dispatched in increasingly violent ways, my favourite was the 2nd shotgun to the head death, swift, unexpected and bloody as hell.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 4/5 - two shotgun to the head deaths and lots of other nasty bits
SEX/NUDITY - 3/5 - someeone is forced to strip, might have been a shower bit
SCARES - 3/5 - more dread than scares but its sustained

FILM - 4/5 - constant brutal home invasion film, didnt like the ending tho

Hobo with a shotgun 2010

A hobo (rutger hauer) turns up at a town with a plan to beg enough money to able to afford a lawnmower so he can start his own business. unfortunatly he has arrived at a town over run with crime and general nastiness, at one point one of the bad guys gets on a school bus with a flamethrower and cooks all the kids alive. its not a happy place to live. suffice to say the lawnmower plan goes tits up and he ends up buying a shotgun instead. then let the carnage begin (or continue, its pretty out of order through out). its got the sense of humour of a troma film but with higher production values and rutger in the lead playing it dead straight, its wicked, violent, bloody, and i strongly suggest checking it out.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 5/5 - intestines, heads and children all explode in a gory fashion.
SEX/NUDITY - 3/5 - prostitutes all over the place doing prostitute stuff
SCARES - 4/5 - no scary but brutal and out of order

FILM - 5/5 - mental gory entertainment for anyone that can handle it,

The Woman 2011

A man finds a wild woman living in the woods, catches her in a net and chains her up in his basement. He then proceeds to get his 'living in fear' family to wash her, feed her and in the case of his teenage son, molest and torture her. You know from the moment the wild woman bites off the control freak blokes finger that its all going to end in a big bloody mess. and it does just that. in a competant way, although it felt like an episode of masters of horror rather than a full blown film. its very a to b stuff, no suprises, no really disturbing things, a reasonable air of dread but not the film its being hyped up to be.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 3/5 - it gets going in the last 20 minutes, intestines, throat rippings etc
SEX/NUDITY - 2/5 - the wild woman gets stripped naked a couple of times
SCARES - 2/5 - no scares here, a couple of almost shocking bits

FILM - 3/5 - feels like it was made for tv, good tv mind.

Zombie diaries 2 : world of the dead 2011

Hmmm, more nonsense on a cover selling a zombie film thats pretty awful. 'the best horror movie of the year'. really fangoria? couldnt find anything on their site saying that. the film is shit by the way. crap acting (except for a 5 minute jonnie hurn cameo at the end where he prceeds to act really well in a film full of people being idiots), shit fx, stupid 'pop' gun noises, crap flashback 'story twist' bits. no script that i could detect.

you know your in trouble when the reason the zombie hordes get in your compound is because 'someone left the gate open'. come on, we deserve better than this.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 2/5 - some crap zombie attacks, one unexpected bit of brutality
SEX/NUDITY - 2/5 - 2 rapes, 1 of which is on a zombie who keeps her pants on
SCARES - 1/5 - ive seen scarier episodes of bagpuss

FILM - 1/5 - just plain shit, one nasty bit and 5 minutes of acting do not a good film make.

Laid to rest 2009

A woman wakes up in a coffin with no memory of how she got there and proceeds to make every stupid decision possible as she tries to escape a serial killer. She drags everyone she meets into the blood and carnage and generally speaking acts in a way that makes you want her dead.
 This film is almost a complete waste of time. its gory, very gory. the killer hacks, slashes and gouges his way through a fair amount of people in a very violent fashion. but alas you just dont care about anyone, and after about 45 minutes i found myself fast forwarding to the next death. it looks like they tried some sort of sneaky twist at the end but to be honest i wasnt paying attention by then because i was bored stupid by it.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 4/5 - faces cut off, a very nice shotgun to the head moment.
SEX/NUDITY - 3/5 - bit of slutty activity from what i could gather watching it at fast forward
SCARES - 1/5 - about as scary as a cup of tea

FILM - 1/5 - utter nonsense, it was a struggle to watch it to the end

Quarantine 2 : terminal 2011

Now i really fucking hated the first quarantine, purely down to the fact that it was a pointless remake of my 3rd favourite zombie film of all time 'Rec'. Thankfully quarantine 2 is not a pointless remake of rec 2. instead it takes place at the same time as quarantine, same virus etc but on a plane, which is quite a good move on the writers part cos where you gonna run at 27000 feet. unfortunatly it only stays on the plane for about half an hour then its all in the airport terminal. but it does its job, the acting is ok, its shot quite well and it has the odd suprisingly violent death. you wont spend the rest of the day having watched it contemplating life but you might find yourself having a giggle at the notion of psycho zombie hamsters.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 3/5 - throat rippings, skull crushings, basic zombie violence
SEX/NUDITY - 0/5 - theres an implied blowjob
SCARES - 3/5 - its a zombie film, it has the required jumpy moments

FILM - 3/5 - worth a watch but dont expect anything special

Hwanghae (The Yellow Sea) 2010

A man is searching for his missing wife. shes in korea hes in china and he is up to his arse in debt to a local gangster. the gangster says he'll pay for the man to go to korea providing he kills a rival while he is there. the man agrees. he gets to korea, sets up his plan to kill the rival gangster and knife and axe chaos proceeds to take over the film.
the yellow sea isnt really a horror film but its got more blood and violence than any of the other films on this blog so it deserves its place. more people are stabbed in the face and neck in this film than all the friday 13th films combined. small axes are constantly used, again mainly to the face and neck. and the 2nd half of the film quite literally drips with blood and gore.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 5/5 - the bloodiest film ive seen in a long while
SEX/NUDITY - 3/5 - gangster girlfriends dont wear clothes if they can help it
SCARES - 3/5 - not scary but pretty damn brutal

FILM - 5/5 - proper film making, proper violence, lots of blood.

Acolytes 2008

A couple of teenagers in australia see a bloke burying something in the woods, thinking its drugs or money they go back to the spot later to dig it up, only to discover its a corpse. instead of going to the police they decide to blackmail the killer to murder a man who molested them when they were younger. with a plan like that, what could possibly go wrong...
well, everything that can go wrong does. the killer starts on a little plan of his own, the bloke who molested them as kids is still a total psycho and the teenagers arnt exactly stable, chaos, kidnap, stabbings and head crushings ensue.
acolytes is well made, acted and although its got a low budget it looks like they at least had a decent camera and director of photography. theres some hard to keep up with twisty turny stuff at the end but its still a pretty damn good film.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 3/5 - not much but its pretty brutal when it happens
SEX/NUDITY - 2/5 - teenagers have sex with their clothes on
SCARES - 3/5 - not much 'boo' but plenty of tension

FILM - 3/5 - a worthy australian low budget horror

Proie (Prey) 2010

Now im a keen fan of killer pig films and i love a good modern french horror film so i was really looking forward to 'prey'. alas aside from the last 10 minutes or so its a french melodrama in killer pig film clothing. lots of 'oh but im pregnant how can i tell my dad' and not enough 'shit shit im being eaten by a mutant pig'. granted by the end everyone is covered in blood and waving axes about but theres no emotional bond to anyone, in fact i felt most sorry for the pig, its not its fault it drank some contaminated water, if the bloody stupid humans hadnt turned up it might have just gone about its big pig business.
For giant killer pig film completists only.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 3/5 lots of blood but its all in the dark
SEX/NUDITY - 0/5 - nothing
SCARES - 2/5 - a couple of jumpy pig moments

FILM - 2/5 - its all set in darkness and there was to much talking and not enough pig

Sudor Frio (cold sweat) 2010

A pair of 20 somethings are looking for a lost friend, they know she went to meet someone who she met online. they turn up at the house, knock on the door and suddenly (like only 2 or 3 minutes in) the film kicks off. Before youve got time to make a cup of tea they are tied up in a basement getting unstable liquid nitroglycerine poured over them.
They have fallen prey to two 75 year old ex argentinian police torturers who pretend to be a good looking hunky bloke on chatsites so they can lure people into their basement. Why? no one asks, its not really important, what is important is the fact that the whole house is full to the brim with unstable explosives, torture devices, mutant flesh eating survivors of the old blokes experiments and the house is falling apart.
I hadnt even heard of this film a couple of days ago but am i glad i found out about it, its wicked, the tension just builds and builds, every stressfull thing you could imagine happening involving liquid tnt is used to the max. and the writer had the presence of mind to cover the good looking girl head to toe in liquid tnt so she has to cut all her clothes off and spend the rest of the film half naked. genius.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 4/5 - heads get blown off, people get eaten alive
SEX/NUDITY - 3/5 - all the mutants are naked and the lead girl seems alergic to clothing
SCARES - 4/5 - more pure full on ratchet up the tension than scares

FILM - 4/5 - the best argentinian film ive ever seen

The Shrine 2010

Three young american journalists wander off to eastern europe to follow up a missing persons case. They get to the last place he was known to be and get a hostile reception from the locals, which they ignore. They investigate a strange fog in the woods and before you can say 'should have listened to the kid who said get away from this place' hell is unleashed in squirmy, intestine ripping fashion.
 The shrine started off feeling like a low budget badly acted piece of nonsense, but it fully redeems itself about half way through when a girl encounters a statue in the fog. from then on it goes all witchfinder general. mad monks hammer spikey masks onto people, young children get ripped up, im pretty sure someone got there hand sawn off at some point as well. always a bonus.
If you struggle through the first act the rest of the film is worth the effort, if your a fan of psycho monks and occult demon stuff, you'll love it.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 3/5 - its gory but a lot of the deaths happen off screen.
SEX/NUDITY - 2/5 - a shower scene, and you cant sacrifice someone without stripping them first
SCARES - 3/5 - from the bit with the statue it does the job

FILM - 3/5 - crap first half, great last half hour.

Stake land 2011

A double hard bastard vampire killer wanders the empty monster infested roads of america with a teenager. they meet people. people die. theres some mad religious nutters killing people and trying to rape nuns. and theres psycho monster vampires all over the place. babies get eaten, people get nailed up, throats are torn out, and all the time it feels like an art film. the soundtrack is great, its well paced, well acted, well written and well shot. and gory and violent as hell. oh and danielle harris is in it, which always helps.
could very well be the best horror film ive seen this year.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 4/5 - spurty blood and torn flesh a go go
SEX/NUDITY - 0/5 - nothing
SCARES - 4/5 - the whole film feels like a subdued nightmare

FILM - 5/5 - amazing stuff, its like terrance malik directed zombieland

Yellowbrickroad 2011

In the 30's an entire town goes for a walk in the woods and dies in nasty ways. forward to present day and a group of map makers and photograpers (including a local) try to find the path the towns people died on.
everything starts pretty slowly, crap campfire conversations, etc etc. after half an hour i was considering turning it off. then the whole film goes mental. proper mental to the point that i thought my tv was broken. everyone starts hearing music and mad noises and before you know it someones lost a leg and people start munching the 'special' berries. theres sudden death in a variety of forms on  offer. a couple of throat stabbings, the aformentioned leg loss, a rather suprising suicide to do with chocolate...
the ending is a bit strange but look at the films title, how else could they ended it.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 3/5 - theres a lot of death but most of it is viewed from far away.
SEX/NUDITY - 1/5 - a few people have sex but its all clothes on style.
SCARES - 3/5 - the middle audio wierdness is freaky as hell.

FILM - 3/5 - the middle is great but the start is boring and the end is all just a bit strange.

The Abandoned 2006

A pair of twins, seperated at birth, both arrive at a house on an island in the middle of russia and proceed to see themselves as corpses wandering around the house, to make matters worse if they attack the dead versions of themselves the wound appears on them instead. so, as one of the characters finds out, its not wise to have a go with a shotgun.
I love 'the abandoned' its creepy as hell, makes very little sense and someone gets eaten alive by pigs. i mean what more do you want. The film doesnt go over the edge like the directors (nacho cerda) previous film 'aftermath'. in which a morgue worker gets a bit to close to the recently dead girl on the slab. but it delivers in jumps and loud noises. and theres a rather nasty bit of home surgery on a knee wound.

BLOOD/VIOLENCE - 3/5 - theres not much but when it happens it delivers.
SEX/NUDITY - 0/5 - nothing, not even an exposed shoulder,
SCARES - 5/5 - first time i watched it alone in the dark it scared the crap out of me.

FILM - 4/5 - watch it, its great